WELL,
yknow i was miss shitty knickers for EVER and then about 6 months ago i gave up wheat and it was like a miracle? and i really dont drink alot of milk, WHEN I DO I MIX skimmed milk with water IN EQUAL MEASURES because i presumed it was just too rich and gave me a TUMMY ache?
but this weekend my flat mate who keeps throwing her food away BECAUSE SHE NEVER EATS IT was like DO YOU WANT THESE RICE CRISPIES...so clearly i couldnt let them be thrown away ( I AM NOT A FAN OF FOOD WASTE) so i spent all weekend eating them and then....
i was DEFFOO miss shitty knickers?
and today i just had some yogs, the stuff with the good bacteria dont shit yourself pro biotic stuff and i was sat on the floor having a serious chat about her man troubles and then i was all
OMG WAIT THERE IM GONNA SHIT MYSELF
and it like was yellow oily slime...

p.s this isnt a diagnose me? im going to go to the doctors and ask for a test but i asked for one before and didnt show up and im really worried they will say no and i will blush?

CAN YOU DRINK MILK?
p.s if i AM i will be really fucking pissed off? because i cant eat wheat now which is OK..... but if i cant eat wheat OR HAVE DAIRY it will be like
rice and meat and crisps forever?
and ever?

I know I've been blithering on incessantly about the Lemonade/Maple Syrup Detox regime lately, but after doing it and going back to solid food, it's amazing how "in tune" with food I am. In other words, I'm finding out which foods sit well with me and which foods will almost instantly kick start the "squirts". Christmas is never the time to embark upon a detox but maybe you should give the detox a go in January, allow about a week after the detox for your bowel movements to get back to normal and then after that keep a food diary and see precisely which foods react badly with you. It might not be a food group intolerance as such, but certain foods belonging to that group. For example, I'm great with cheese and chocolates but if I start using milk instead of soya in my tea & coffee, I soon am running to the toilet. It would be a bit premature to say you are totally intolerant to lactose, you might be marginally intolerant. I would suggest a detox to cleanse your palate/gut of pre-existing toxins (start out with a "clean slate", so to speak) and once you come off the detox, your body will start to give you clear and present messages as to what it will and won't tolerate.

Apologies if the above came across as too "new age", but ultimately, your body will tell you what it wants and what it doesn't - you just need to give it a chance to "listen".

__________________

"... I don't simply wash my hair, I make love to my hair, it is a process and it shows..."

this is a VERY GOOD REPLY,
and i am ACTUALLY very greatful you replied because i was just about to make an angry post about how im going to sleep now
but
with the wheat thing? i have been almost shitting my pants for ten years before someone suggested it would be that? because before they told me it was stress, i was too excited when i ate, it was pork, i should go on these tablets, it was mashed potatos, i should ONLY EAT white bread and pasta, i should never eat spicey foods.. and all of this was BULLSHIT it was just wheat and i have no idea why but since i stopped eating wheat i can eat all the things that made me go pups before?
and it was my brother who told me and i only did it to prove him wrong...which didnt work!
AND ALSO
they will just give me a blood test right?!
i am really not good with detoxing... i am a very hungry person?

Fuck. This made me LAUGH a lot. I love you.

But I also sympathize about the almost shitting yourself thing. I thought I was lactose intolerant maybe too. I dont like milk though so its ok, except for cereal, which i only eat when im not going out. But I do feel a bit sicky when i eat cheese sometimes too. But I'm fine with milkshakes I think.

__________________
"They call me BLUD, they call me RUDE BOY, they call me OI, they call me MATE, that's not my name!"

i'm not lactose intolerant, but my bro and i recently stopped drinking so much milk, we used to have HEAPS. its kind of amazing? i feel so much better all the time.
i do get sick now if i drink a massive milkshake or something.

__________________

regard and regard for the inverse and perverse and obverse, and diverse, of reverse and reverse