Hi, i used to be a regular poster under a different name, but recently after my account somhow inexplicably stopped working i've become more of an occasional lurker!


I didn't really know where to post this, so if it gets moved it's fine, and if you shoot me down then shame on me.
I used to be fat, really fat, about 15 stone, but over the past 2 years, i've shed about 6.5st, bringing me to 8.5, just below underweight for my height.

Obviously, i think, i havn't been able to shift that amount of weight without obsessing a little bit too much over food, but, recently, i've found it even more of a battle. I feel like i've dieted away my brain and my personality, and although my skin is yellow, i have had no periods for over half a year, i have dark circles around my eyes and complete famine tits thanks to my dieting before i allowed myself to become properly developed, i cant seem to start eating more, to will myself to put on or even maintain my current weight. I obsess about what i eat in a day, and feel really guilty if i dont do "enough" exercise.

It's not really been easy, and now i'm trying really hard to eat a normal, balanced diet, with breakfast lunch and dinner, but i've been finding it really hard to overcome the guilt i feel every time i eat, eat the "wrong" thing, or feel comfortable when i put on a pound or two because i've been eating more healthily.

I've been to the doctors, but what they said just confused me, they didnt really help with the pshycological aspect that i feel may cause me to become more ill. I just dont feel like i can talk to anyone about it.

I'd just appreciate your thoughts, experiences or advice

thanks,
C

It's nice that you lost the excess weight, but it sounds like you took it too far. Not saying that you necessarily have an eating disorder, but the obsession/guilt and the amenorrhea all sound symptomatic of anorexia/ other eating disorder to me.

You should get a second or third opinion from different doctors, and maybe take someone with you for support. They are definitely not all experts on this issue.

(I suspect my sister is anorexic, and the doctor she went to was not that knowledgeable or supportive at all. It's a hard thing to go through). But in your case, it’s a good sign that you yourself are acknowledging there is a problem.

sorry, maybe that wasn't too helpful, but just wanted to wish you good luck!!

I can relate. I started eating healthier and exercising last summer and lost weight instantly. I was never overweight but I was a bit chubby.

I guess the pressure to be thin really got to me. I thought if i lost weight I would become more outgoing and confident. A couple months ago, I was down 25 pounds and became very obsessive about my calorie intake. I became so involved in counting calories and how much I was eating that I didnt have time for anything else. My family became very concerned and rumors started that I was anorexic. I remember becoming very upset and defensive, isolating myself from everyone.

Then it occurred to me how dangerous my actions were. I lost my period and I was always cold. I dropped down to 110 which is underweight for 5'6". I opened up to my mom, and since then Ive felt better about the situation. Im more involved in my family and im start to eat without counting every single calorie. Of course its hard to let those habits go. I have gained a couple pounds and now im up to 116.


I think you are on the right track. By achknowledging it you are making the first step. Maybe talking to a family member might also provide you will some security. It helps to know that my mom is looking out for me if I did start to relapse. good luck! If I can do it, you can too! message me if you want to talk more!

I'm in shock. It's like you just said everything that I wanted to say. I feel the same way. I use to be a little overweight and I really tried to lose the weight. I adventually got down to about 56 kilos. I was really proud of that but it didn't stop there. I kept going and lost more weight, more weight and more weight. I feel like I can't even think anymore either. Everything you think about being connected to food and what you can and can't eat. I hope you get better because I know exactly how you feel.

Ana's Song (Open Fire)

Please die Ana
For as long as you're here we're not
You make the sound of laughter
and sharpened nails seem softer
And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow

Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you

Imagine pageant
In my head the flesh seems thicker
Sandpaper tears corrode the film

And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow

Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you

And you're my obsession
I love you to the bones
And Ana wrecks your life
Like an Anorexia life

Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
Open fire on the needs designed
Open fire on my knees desires
On my knees for you