When I plug my ipod into the USB nothing happens. The same goes for my digital camera. I'm technologically retarded and my computer already runs slow as shit for reasons unknown to me. Any advice????? It's a HP desktop about seven years old...

The USB port is either uninstalled or fucked. Your PC is old enough to warrant an upgrade.

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It wouldn't just uninstall by itself though, would it? I had no problem with it a couple months ago.

you know when you remove stuff, first you are meant to do that thing on the start bar (right click, remove devices) well if you dont do that yr computer doesnt know if something is in or out so it gets confused later on in its life at recognising if something is in its drive.

im so computarded, thats my best attempt at a possible maybe explanation, sorry!

Its either a power, driver or physical problem.

If its power, you may need to get a powered hub.
If its a driver thing, it may need to be reinstalled, both the port and the device driver.
If its a physical problem, then its broken, and get a new USB Port fitted.