i've been fired from work yestoday
well, to really understand the big mess i'm in, let me tell the whole story.
i posted a thread about a sick leave related to my situation for anxiety last june.
i got my first job last year. i'm engineer. i have never been unemployed and always worked hard for studies and my job. from 55 to 70 hours/week, paid 39,5 hours (no, France is NOT an eldorado!).
my first job was nice. i worked a lot, but the atmosphere was really great and i even made friends at work! the boss told me i did good job, everything went very well.
my bf found a job in another town, really far from my 1st job (8 hours by train). we did see each other once every 2 weeks.
i didn't like that much the town i lived in, so i ask to stay in the same entreprise but in the town my bf live. as i everything went pretty well, that was ok, and i left. i was sad to leave that great people.
my new job had to be the same. but it was pretty different. the atmosphere was ****ty, the boss really bad. to tell the truth, that was moral harcielement. like he stays at your back and says "faster, faster" when you're working at your computer. criticize hair colors (i'm blonde..). did several meetings in his office to tell our work is really ****ty. yelling on workers when he's "stressed". hammed some pens in the wall when he's "stressed".saying something and then the contrary. white to black.yes to no. even some of my co workers were mad. the internee had to look down when one of my co workers come in the room (that's was a "play" she said).
i worked very hard. i was exhausted and started to depress in june. i have been on sick leave for anxiety a few days in june. i cried at work. i cried every morning going to work and every night coming back from work. i couldn't sleep, thinking all day about work, working on week ends too, and talking about my job all day long. my bf didn't really understand what was happening.
my ex co workers heard about my situation and coached me, saying you're a good engineer, he's a dickhead and known in the entreprise for it. i learned one of my co workers from the new job did a depression last year. she was exhausted, crying everyday at work. in my new job, they asked me a work of a 5 to 10 years experienced engineer. they told me i didn't work enough fast. so worked more again to do the work "faster".
as i was exhausted and really destabilized, i did errors i've never done before. ****ty errors like forgetting a sentence, bad title on a picture and stuff like this.
of course, everything became worse as i did errors. and i went worse and worse. i had a "warning" saying i did errors and that's really serious and so on. i tried to do my best. they know it.
as they continued to treat me like **** (like "oh no you can't have a day off next month, because i don't want you to" (no overwork at that time).), i did an answer to the warning, saying point by point: this was like this, in this situation, my job is a junior job, paid a junior job and so on.
i've been fired yeatoday causing the answer.in France you can't leave from a day to another. i will have a firing meeting and then a notice of dismissal.
i am the kind of person who is passionated. in work, love and other things like music. i have always worked very hard, did hard studies in sciences, and i can't stand being in that ****ty situation. i feel like i did all wrong, how could i be in THAT situation?! i feel exhausted, i know i can't work now as engineer. i will need time (a few months i think).