This could probably go in the rants forum, I just feel like having a whinge about this. So I've been signing on for a little while and it's just starting to do my head in. Obviously not having a job sucks for various reasons but the process of claiming Jobseekers Allowance is utterly ridiculous. The staff in the job centre are reasonably pleasant and helpful, just basically doing their jobs most of the time. But some of them are passive aggressive assholes! I heard someone giving shit to some poor woman because she couldn't speak much English, like jeez that's helpful.
Really I feel that they don't give you much help in actually finding suitable jobs, I'd like to work in a particular area doing what I'm qualified for but they straight out told me they wouldn't be able to give any help for finding that type of job. Fine, I need money right now so I'm applying for lots of retail and admin jobs. It all seems like a bit of a farce at the moment.
So please share your joyful jobcentre experiences...

Yeah, they basically are hopeless when it comes to finding specific jobs for people who are already qualified or experienced in a particular area. But they have tons of regular jobs, it amazes me that your average unqualified person can remain unemployed for more than a handful of months.

I just found it so tiring to go there and sign on. It's like:

Jobcentre person: "Have you been looking for a job?"
Me: "Yes."
Jobcentre person: "OK."

And that's it? I signed on for a couple of months, a few years ago, and they produced a couple of really shitty jobs for me in the first instance, at a bigger jobcentre a couple of towns away, but after that I had to go to my local one that just has your signing-on facility and nothing else. It was really shit.

Also, I got pretty much no help in filling out the application, and ended up filling out the wrong part, and it was all delayed. By the time I got money through, I already had a new job lined up (and no thanks to them).

I found the jobcentre plus website more helpful than the actual jobcentre for finding jobs. I went for a job I found on there, and it was actually being advertised through a recruitment agency. I never got that job but I ended up signing on to the agency and they found me a job and had me interviewed and sorted with a start date within no more than three weeks.

Agencies are probably the way to go if you have a specific field in mind, but it depends what you do, I suppose. I had an easy time with them, but I was in accountancy and there are always opportunities in that field. My boyfriend tried to get sorted out with a couple of agencies for creative/advertising type stuff and they barely even acknowledged him, never mind finding him any work.

I totally know how you feel, though. There are few things more depressing than being unemployed and having to trundle in and sign on.

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Deux hommes font une promenade amicale. L'un des deux porte un parapluie à son bras.
Il se met à pleuvoir. L'homme n'ouvre pas son parapluie et l'autre lui demande pourquoi.
- Parce que ça ne servirait à rien, lui répond son ami. Il est plein de trous.
- Alors, pourquoi l'as-tu pris?
- Parce que je ne pensais pas qu'il pleuvrait.

i was the same looking for a job. i remember the first day i dressed like i was actually going for a job interview (because i had a massive misconception of what a job centre was).

they didn't actually help me find a job and just pointed me barely towards the nhs website; but they did give me money with barely any questions asked.

It's awesome how it's all scottish folk in this thread.

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Deux hommes font une promenade amicale. L'un des deux porte un parapluie à son bras.
Il se met à pleuvoir. L'homme n'ouvre pas son parapluie et l'autre lui demande pourquoi.
- Parce que ça ne servirait à rien, lui répond son ami. Il est plein de trous.
- Alors, pourquoi l'as-tu pris?
- Parce que je ne pensais pas qu'il pleuvrait.

lmao. it says a lot about jobseekers demographics

i had to write a nasty letter pn behalf of someone to the jobcentre last week cos they asked a homeless guy who went in there why he still wanted to work when he was 61 years of age. they have a superiority complex that really isn't justified. i can put up with arrogance if someone really is hot shit, but not a jobsworthy deskjockey down the jobcentre.

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It's a new year, I'm glad to be here. It's a fresh spring, so lets sing.
In 2080 I'll surely be dead. So don't look ahead, never look ahead.

Yeah the first job they ever recommended to me was...in the jobcentre. I turned it down.
Today the guy was looking through a load of shitty retail jobs and he was like 'I can't really see you working in JD Sports' yeah neither can I. dick.
I'm in a weird position of training and volunteering to become qualified for what I want to do while at the same time needing to get some money. I have to balance that with the hours of work, it might sound kind of lazy but I can't see myself putting in 40+ hours at some call centre from hell then wanting to go looking for jobs/tutor/go to college aswell.
I've applied for some very good jobs, mainly through the city council but had no luck with getting an interview. Ooh I'm feeling so sorry for myself

i know people who've ben signing on their entire life. they make it way too easy. this one guy i know, been signing on almost 10 years and finally last jan they told him he had to work on a placement as a painter for an extra £30 or he'd lose his dole all together, that finally pushed him to get a job on his own. and he's loving it. if only they'd done that sooner. i've signed on myself in the past, they don't do shit. the woman actually told me once if i don't like the jobs i'm applying for just go to the interview and fail it, anyone can fail an interview if they want to. as long as it LOOKS like i'm looking it's all ok. the job center in my town is more like the place to score drugs and knock off gear.

I hate the job centre. I went there a few months ago, because I am in a sort of unplanned gap year before university. Anyway, I quit my last job and went there looking for advice.. and they sent me away to 'connections' or something, who deal with 16 - 19 year olds (I'm 18). So I turned up there and explained my situation, why I quit my last job etc.

I have (good) A Level grades in (not to sound snobbish but, good) subjects so I have some good prospects (well I assumed that I did), and I want to do something worthwhile. And I told her I was thinking along the lines of a HCA or something since I only have about 6 months until I go to university, and preferably in the mental health area but that didn't matter too much, I just wanted to do something of value. I'm so sick of serving fucking coffee for a living!

And anyway back on subject.. all she did was give me the saaame jobslist as everyone else, jobs in the town centre. She was no help at ALL. They're useless! They're just used to people going like "I wanna be a hairdresser" and they just go "okay, apply for this course at this college." and they're out the door and yay!

Anyway.. I guess I'm just better off approaching organisations on my own and stuff. Since the people who are meant to help, can clearly not be arsed to put any effort in.

I think the jobs they have posted up are more of a stick than a carrot, it's like "find a decent job soon or we'll shove you into THIS where you have to get up at 6am to unblock drains". It works as well. I don't think anyone ever got a decent job through a Jobcentre?

I've never really had a bad experience with them though, they seem to get a lot of shit and if you're polite and patient with them they're nice & helpful back and overlook the fact that you've not really been looking for a job the whole time. I think the benefits system in the UK is a bit more fundamentally flawed and the staff on the shop floor are just doing their best.

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His last request was a bulletproof vest or a god

I hate jobcentres with a passion. They just force people into below average employment in order to get them off social security and that's not right. If you have the skills to be a receptionist you shouldn't be forced to go and catch chickens for $5 an hour. No one I know has ever had a good experience with places like that and no one I know has found work with help from them either.

my sister signs on and i've been down there with her a few times and the staff truly are the most unbearable little crackpots who don't even think to try to conceal how much they looooove their little bit of power. and worse than the dolts behind the desks are the security guards who have, to quote someone far more articulate than i am, all the charm of hitler's henchmen. i've seen them fling people onto the street for the most minor infraction, seen them storm up to women and start interrogating them about why their "motives for being here"...i'd looooooove to confront them sooooo much, but i'm sure that would earn me being taken round the back and set fire to or something so i'm just a passive-aggressive little sod myself and always make some loud comment to my sister about penis size as we pass them on the way out.

although i had to snigger today: my sis has been out at a restart course!!!!!!!!!??? AHAHAHA!!!!! "hokie-cokie, pig in a pokie!"

The biggest problem with the system here is they deduct any wage you get from your benefits, which means getting part-time work off the back of unemployment is pointless and you may as well sit on your arse. I'm assuming that's stayed the same in the UK?

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His last request was a bulletproof vest or a god

I actually got a really decent job from one of those job centre machines they have in the centres. It was in the NHS and I took it for my gap year (and they then re-employed me in all my uni holidays, to this day really), it paid pretty well too. So I love job centres forever for that- it was my first trip there and all.

My friend however went to sign on recently cause she was really really broke after we finished our masters and whilst she was looking for a job. Now she has a degree, a masters and 3 years of full-time work experience. First meeting, the woman at the counter is like "How much did you used to earn?" so she was like "£18,000" and then the woman did some huge and lengthily calculation and goes "Did you know if you got a job with the same salary as that, you would be getting £200 a week more than you get in benefits now? Don't get hooked on being on benefits!" SHe was like.... yeah, thats what I always dreamed off. Doing two degrees so I could sit on benefits at £55 a week...

Jesus I'm so glad I went the mental-patient route and never had to sign on. Of course once I've finished Uni that'll probably change...

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Insomnia- I think you must have been very lucky! Even finding semi-decent jobs on those machines is like finding a needle in a haystack.
If I had the choice of earning 50 quid a week working part time and getting it through benefits I would definately take the job. Up till now I've been holding out for full time just for the money but now I'm going to apply for anything just so I don't have to deal with "the system" anymore. So fingers crossed I'll be serving muffins before long...(thats sarcasm by the way)

LOL, apparently he based that on reali life experiences.

i'm not allowed to sign on cos im the sponsor of someone's visa but i end up down there quite a lot with the job i'm just leaving, and they are always rude, arrogant and obnoxious, maybe it's a town to town thing. i'm pretty much jumped on everytime i go in there and interrogated until i explain, with increasingly small amounts of patience, why im there.

but then some agencies can be worse. there was in our town which is basically infamous for being shitty to students. they sent me to every shitty job you could think of pretty much, but im more rounded cos of it i spose. again, like the thing insomnia mentioned, me and my mate had four degrees between us and ended up clearing out a tile warehouse. joke was on them tho cos our boss was secretly selling a lot of the stuff he was supposed to be sending back to the company and not putting it on the inventory. he basically paid us off to keep quiet about it so we started at 7 and finished at 1 instead of 9-5.

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It's a new year, I'm glad to be here. It's a fresh spring, so lets sing.
In 2080 I'll surely be dead. So don't look ahead, never look ahead.