I need to write a cover letter and get it sent out this morning, but I don't even know where to begin. I've been reading through example cover letters and how-to guides, but when I get my pen and paper out to write a draft, I feel completely clueless. I've never been good at hyping myself up, I end up feeling like such a phony. How do you bull**** your way through it without coming off as a complete liar?

You just write about what job you are applying for and the reason you applying and then attach a cv to it. Your cv will speak for you. thats what I think.

you should just look online for examples...monster.com usually has some
they should be simple and lead people to read the cv

what is the job you're applying for?

the format i usually give to people in my job is:
-introduce yourself
-paragraph about why yr interested in the company: show relevant knowledge of recent things they've done/understanding of their organisational culture so they know you know your stuff & aren't applying willy nilly
-paragraph signposting to your cv highlighting your relevant background & skills & how you fit into the organisation & the organisational culture. show understanding of the role (for example highlight ability to work under deadlines if it's a high pressure job so they don't think taht you just think it's going to be awesome all the time).

this was really generic. i could help you more with it but i need to know what you're applying for etc.

basically your cover letter is to show your knowledge of the company & role & to signpost to your cv.