let's tell the story. i feel like coming of age.

i got mine at the dinner table.

i think my face skin got that menarche rash too bc my mom was like WHAT IS THAT? DO YOU HAVE YOUR TIMES?

and i was like. no, *****. i fkn hate you. go away.

so i used paper towels only. in my drawz.

for a long time.


now what is this?



WHAT'S THAT CLEAR THING UP FRONT? IS IT A DIAPHRAGM?


one day my mum found my paper towels in the trash and got pretty mad. and she bought some pads and yelled at me.

she is a total ***** and that is why i am a lesbian today.

love,
clotty

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some of my customers want me to suck their *****es. i tell them allah did not create my mouth for that purpose.

paper towels omg wot u finkin!

first tampon.

one day. in 7th grade.

i accidentally put my quarter on the wrong side of the machine and it gave me a tampon instead of a pad.

so i was like. oh ****. that's my last quarter.

so i went in the stall and tried to shove it up there.

BUT I MUST'VE CLAMPED SHUT OR SOMETHING BC IT WOULD NOT GO. IT HURT SO BAD I WAS SURE I WOULD DIE AND ALSO NEVER HAVE SEX W/ A ***** EITHER.

then i went to the library and asked the library lady if she had a quarter i could borrow. she did not ask any questions and she gave me one.

it was part of the bad kids/retards class so there was some dumbass ****head kid in there singing Candy Rain at the top of his lungs.

so awful.

then i went back to the bathroom and got my pad and never used tampons until after i became a full blown ***** w/ no hymen.

love,
clotty

__________________
some of my customers want me to suck their *****es. i tell them allah did not create my mouth for that purpose.

hey shut up.

tell your first blood stories.

love,
clotty

__________________
some of my customers want me to suck their *****es. i tell them allah did not create my mouth for that purpose.

i lost my 'ginity to a tampon. i'm not sure though, because i was bleeding anyway. um...but i was using tampons a long time before i had dick.