I've had a splinter in my foot since Friday night. I've tried everything I can think of to get it out (mostly consisting of squeezing & digging at it with a pin) but the bastard won't budge for anything.

How, HOW do I get it out?

It hurts to walk & I'm going dancing on Saturday

go see a doctor before it gets infected!

try soaking it in hot water
the heat might draw it out

hmmm doctor probably the best way to go. especially if you're in pain. sounds nasty

i got a reed stuck in my finger before, it was an inch long, i pulled it out, at least i though i had. it still hurt but i forgot about it. a week later something started coming out of my skin and it was this huge bit of reed, it was really strange i just kept pulling and pulling it was huage. this was probably not a sensible thing to do though.

Carry on with poking it out with a pin- you'll get it eventually.