I just saw the wonderful movie Little Miss Sunshine and this quote really resonated with me. It sounds incredibly self indulgent to whine about such shallow things but more than ever women are expected to look a certain way, and falling even so much as slightly short of that and we feel like failures.
In particular, I certainly feel constant pressure to be thin and I'm not happy with my weight even though I'm a normal, healthy size. As irrational as it is in theory, I am consumed with jealousy over other girls figures, even models who genetically I could never be like (eg, FACT i will NEVER have legs up to my armpits, I'm short and petite it simply won't happen, my weight is all in my legs, they're chunky fuckers!)
The only times I have ever liked my figure is when I've been really ill and plagued by eating disorders and that's sad, unrealistic and not long lasting.
I only feel 'good enough' when I'm really skinny and absolutely wretched if I put on a few pounds. What are everybody's mechanisms when it feels as if the pressure to be beautiful gets too much? I find self acceptance hard and a long process. Yoga and a balanced diet helps, plus little treats like facials and massages keep me going, but quite simply it's fucking exhausting and hard work and I can only hope that one day we will all feel happy and comfortable in our own skin.

That's so true! In the past, I've been quite mad at some of my friends for being skinnier Fortunately, this has stopped now and, although I'd love to lose some weight, I think my body's OK the way it is.

someone on here has this great quote in their sig from this make-up artist who unfortunately died... kevyn aucoin or sth like that....:

Life is too short to spend hoping that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lip shade will mask an ugly heart.


It really struck me because it's incredibly true. I think there's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and wanting to look good. it's in our nature as humans. The Egyptians already used make-up and had all sorts of beauty treatments.
it just can't become obsessive, which is hard since our society has become so beauty-obsessed

when I am obsessing over sth, for example my nose having a bit of a bump, I stop and ask myself: "will having this bum removed really make your life happy? will it really get you great friends and a sweet bf? and on your deathbed: will it really matter?" the answer is always no.

I used to think more about my looks when I was younger. I've noticed that confidence, intelligence, an interesting lifestyle and a personal look is more attractive than anything.

I think a lot of the time we woman pay way too much attention to the media. magazines, tv, internet everything. And we start to develop a skewered perception of what women should look like. And we make ourselves believe it is the norm. AND ITS NOT. You have you step outside that reality and see normal everyday people to know this isn't true. A good example would be to go to a concert where girls may be your same age, and look at them. They are all different sizes and they are having a good time. The biggest factor for being sexy is confidence no matter if you are size 0, 6, or a 16.

I think a lot of the time we woman pay way too much attention to the media. Magazines, tv, internet everything. And we start to develop a skewered perception of what women should look like. And we make ourselves believe it is the norm. AND ITS NOT. You have you step outside that reality and see normal everyday people to know this isn't true. A good example would be to go to a concert where girls may be your same age, and look at them. They are all different sizes and they are having a good time.

We woman put the pressure on ourselves. We let these images control us. Who in their right mind thinks a woman 6 foot tall with full perfectly shaped breasts and pretty face is the norm? Its not it is only the norm in the superfical world of the media. So Rocknrollbarbie put all that stuff down and stop letting it control you. Only you can make yourself feel inferior.

it works on all sides

if you exude confidence in yourself, people will find you attractive.

being attractive is not all it's cracked up to be, either...

i think the ugly people want to be pretty and the pretty people want to be ugly. There is no pleasing anyone.

I was talking about this in depth the other day and came to the conclusion that in life the only person you can ever please is yourself. If you're 8 stone or 18 stone people will criticize you one way or another. As long as you yourself are happy that's all that matters. I used to just think that as long as I was really skinny then everything would just click into place, and I felt angry and cheated when it didn't.
I was also told wisely that you should never expect to be happy in life, just to get by, which is what I will try and think about from now on. My expectations have been far too high and unrealistic for too long. Taking each day bit by bit is the best way forward and I really hope this will stop any self destructive feelings from resurfacing. It's a struggle but I would like to refer to this thread when I or anyone else feels pressured or anguished about it all.
I really hope that one day I can genuinely live by this advice and the responses that have been given, because I would absolutely love to feel that inwardly confident and happy.