They are geniuses. Genii?

[Very abbreviated Little Red Riding Hood ripoff]

Once upon a time there was a cat named Little Ultraviolet Jumping Panties. She was off for a shoot in the green gay wonderland to take a basket of snakes to her Godfather. As she went, she pooed slowly and jumped like a kangaroo. The wind smacked through the trees. When she got to Godfather's house, she found Godfather in bed, but he looked different. His hands were like chairs, his spleen was like a dog, and his cancer was like Adam. Probably because he had been eaten by a tapeworm, who was wearing his hat and g-string. The tapeworm tried to spank Little Ultraviolet Jumping Panties, but an artist came by and sucked it to death. Little Ultraviolet Jumping Panties was very sad, though. "My Godfather was so brave, he was a tarsier". But he was gone, and Little Ultraviolet Jumping Panties had to get over it. The artist comforted Little Ultraviolet Jumping Panties, and they got married, even though she was 5 and he was 69.

"To _verb1_ or not to _verb1_, that is the _noun_, whether tis _adjective_r in the _body part_ to suffer the _noun_s and _noun_s of outrageous _noun_" and I can't remember the rest of the quote.

That's a very good idea! I'm making one based on that. Thanks for the inspiration.

Yeah, I couldn't help but be rude:


One day my Uncle Dick Army and my Aunt Vagina Coastguard said they would take me and my sister Cunty McCuntcunt on a trip to Ass Tokyo.

“You will love Ass Tokyo,” said Aunt Vagina Coastguard. “It is famous for its wild rabid hyenas, its purplish blue flowers, and its beautiful thrusting hills.”

“I hope you packed plenty of burritos for the ride,” said Uncle Dick Army. “It will probably take us 77 hours.”

So we all piled into Uncle Dick Army and Aunt Vagina Coastguard's motorbike on stilts. At first the trip was really swollen. We sang “390481329048309258324634709271 Bottles of sperm on the Wall.” Then we counted the balls that we saw ass ramming in the fields by the side of the road. But after 6969696969696969 hours we had eaten all the burritos and Cunty McCuntcunt was getting frigid.

“Are we almost there?” she asked quickly.

“Yes, bunny shit,” said Aunt Vagina Coastguard.

Just then I saw a sign that said, “Penisville: 2 miles.”

“Umm, Uncle Dick Army, is Penisville on the way to Ass Tokyo?” I asked.

“Yeah,” said Cunty McCuntcunt, pointing, “and is The Erect Pope of Africa on the way to Ass Tokyo?”

“My urethra is melting!! FUCK ME HARDER! IHWTOIHEDGOIMDIOGHIO!, kids,” laughed Uncle Dick Army. “You can trust the expert.”

“One thing's for sure,” I muttered. “I don't think we're in your mother's huge gaping vagina that speaks in tongues any more.”

__________________
"Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no-fags-allowed rule?"

No, hopefully not.