Youtube Video's:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=u48fTY5H-lI *Trigger Warning*

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1HxUeWIN-Go *Trigger Warning*

Music:

http://www.brokengirltotheside.com/music.html

Drawings:

http://img150.imageshack.us/img150/5...avfuhfs8ql.jpg

http://img431.imageshack.us/img431/2236/huge124sl.png

http://img431.imageshack.us/img431/2139/huge3lz.png

http://img431.imageshack.us/img431/4751/huge116dp.png

http://img431.imageshack.us/img431/5403/huge089oz.png

http://img431.imageshack.us/img431/8140/huge079np.png

http://img431.imageshack.us/img431/8559/huge062cc.png

http://img431.imageshack.us/img431/1331/huge026pp.png

http://img479.imageshack.us/img479/7...vwaqkfs7gd.jpg

http://img473.imageshack.us/img473/6...sbfvvfs5wv.jpg

Some Poems from 2002-2004:

So you

Looking to the Mountains,
Grape against blue.
Burden on weary shoulders,
No word of yours is true.

Oh Lord, you say high above,
Watching over this form?
Like hell you do phony fake,
Biting venomous scorn.

Your path is narrow,
Few will follow
So called ‘hope’
Empty and hollow.

God of creation,
Why did you bother?
Desiring fellowship,
The price of a brother.

This jar of clay,
Nasty shape.
Hidden cracks,
About to break.

----------------------------

Bruise it again let it lose blood,
Splitting the lip
Broken down drugged.

Send out sperm tarnish cherry dress,
Castrated sex,
Extraordinary mess.

Nourish this carnal nature within,
Crop growing,
Perverted sin.

Savor the biting flavor of gray,
Miles distant,
Born to decay.

---------------------------------

Kill the finer and slighter of two ills,
Bind beggars wounds,
Sign their wills.

Swallow ambien to fight off sleep,
Keep the change,
Peel the feet.

Yielding to the analyst,
Lack of control,
Judgmental panelist.

Lead into the arid expanse,
Eyes waterless,
Sedated glance.
----------------------------------

Lend an Ear

Rising early sun broken,
Across that deadened plain,
Asking the Creator,
No reply has driven insane.

Why did you allow death?
To come into the land?
Why do you spite us?
By the cruelty of your hand?

“My thoughts and ways are higher then yours,
Beyond your comprehension,
Choosing those who receive grace,
While others fall in dissention.”

“Therefore, seek me while you can,
Call while I’m near,
Close to those humble souls,
To them I lend an ear.”

---------------------------------------

Memories

A certain man parted today,
Passing from within.
Treading, treading mourners went,
Frozen eternal sin.

Vigil held candle lit,
While seated on the ground.
Resonating melodies,
Still tasting Puget Sound.

Untimely cracks across our souls,
Suspended bitter trace.
Ages pass autumn returns,
With memories half erased.

Bright ones fell the heavens above,
We’re too damaged to tell.
Left behind to carry on,
In the depths of hell.
-----------------------------------------

Wanderer

Pleading hands,
Vagabond feet.
Recklessly level-headed,
Slave drivers freed.

Struggling against,
Broken soul.
Shift to neutral,
Loose control.

Tired has- beens,
Shuffle along.
Swimming in stench,
Funeral march song.

Blade plunged through,
Just to spite.
Pull the trigger,
Final goodnight.
------------------------------------

Untitled

She couldn’t find a foothold to grip,
Deeply sinking into that pit.

Save her O God.
Are you there?
Save her O God.
Do you care?

Her swollen eyes bruised to blue,
Foolish she was to think of you.

Morning breaks,
Black swagger caws.
Again she aches,
Born to fall.

Unyielding iron her will,
Hard headed bronze broken and still.

She bears the marks,
Of your cruel whip.
Your seal was broken,
As she slipped.
---------------------------------------

Forty winks

Slow fly vibrant in my ear,
Desire to sleep,
Won’t come near.

Pitched her tent,
Glowing campfire,
At my expense.

Dreams of naught,
Nerves on end,
Sleep she fought.

Sink leaking,
Runny nose,
Door creaking.

Be quiet,
Go away,
Stay silent.

Spinning room,
Buzzer sounds,
The day anew.
------------------------------------

Don’t be stupid

Stay away from broken people,
We all annoy and drain.
You pay for our heads,
As we drive you insane.

Some of us are gifted,
Others are smarter still.
We feed on your injections,
And swallow your bitter pills.

Planning our day flawlessly,
Trying to adjust.
Even our backing strategies,
Hurl us in the mud.

Escape our misfortune,
Turn your back and flee.
This your smartest action,
Putrefy leave be.
------------------------------------

between his bars

Tart melodies of truthfulness,
Gracefully curving,
That figure eight.

Indistinct the person,
Who could subdue,
Vulnerable besides late.

Precious stones,
Unlighted insight,
Muted eyes of longing.

Miss misery hugged,
Holding close,
Eternally now belonging.
---------------------------------------------
Trash

Waking in rage,
Jacob’s home torn.
Left handed man,
Calluses worn.

Daughter of Judah,
Swelling tears.
Utter defiance,
Nail-biting years.

Shriveled up,
Lain to waist.
Crooning enemies,
Slap their face.

Who can heal,
The heart poured out?
Curdled unrest,
Assaulting doubt.
----------------------------------

You

You are the complete fulfillment,
Understanding something lacking.
You’re the sweetest Father,
When I’ve a bent for slacking.

Your knowledge is wonderful,
Your laws are life-giving.
My mind is judgmental,
But, Yours is so forgiving.

You justice is mercy,
Your Word is sure.
Your promises are complete,
But, mine are impure.

You gave birth to instincts adeptness,
Holding their stars in place.
Tilting the water jars red fire of dawn,
Painted heavens with grace.

Foolishness springs from this mouth,
Seal it with Your hand.
Dust and ashes make this bed,
In a thirsty enfeebled land.
-----------------------------------------------

Awkward

Strange banner ripples,
Outlying the ground.
Listen to its song,
Heed the sound.

Clutching the soul,
Melancholy’s curse.
Lethargic Axis,
Castles of dirt.

Quirky phrases,
Of tired conversation.
Turn this brain off,
Dense castration.

“Obstinate bitch,”
Some would preach,
Don’t want to function,
Transpiring breach.

scroll scroll scroll *back*

cliche cliche cliche
cliche cliche cliche
i like to rip off hole
cliche cliche cliche

heh...are you kidding me...no offense...but I can't relate to half the stuff she writes out side of LTT...the rest of it is uh...shit...as for being cliche...yes, it is...but its how I felt...and still feel, I'm not apoligiseing for who I am...if you don't like it, thats your issue...

I can't view your videos or listen to your music, but I like your artwork and poems. Clichés, albeit clichés with quality. Your drawings don't really do much for me, as the appeal lies solely in the display of conventional skill. I remember reading a poem of yours entitled "Of This" about two years ago, do you still have that? I thought it was very good.

I have a question for you. Do you have any drawings/poems from 2006?

I'm curious: what do you get out of exposing people to images of people hurting themselves? Are you trying to give comfort to other people who cut and starve themselves? Do you get some form of pleasure also from disturbing gentle people with collages of horror images?

also, i just listened to one of your demos? the doll parts cover? oy! it's "most cake" not "moist cake". i hate to be the one to tell you that.

I haven't listened to it, but perhaps she has an accent or a speech impediment? Do you, Hannah?

PS The title of this thread is lame.

hannah i dont really know you you seem nice but these threads are not helping anyone. from what i've seen you dont have it THAT bad. you're not starving, living in a communist country...you dont have any painful disease. i think if you stopped kind of emphasizing your pain then you would be better off. do you want people to think of you as the depressed girl? do you want your pain to continue? if not then you have go to realize what you DO have and how lucky you are to have it so good. you may have issues, but who doesnt? i think that you come on here to seek help but there is no way that can help you through the internet.

edit: and i dont mean for this to sound mean or insensitive becasue i dont' know how your life is and i dont disliek you at all. i just had a really hard and sad time with a friend who was going through similar circumstances and i dont want that to happen to anybody

I don't presume to know what it's like to have Asperger's Syndrome on top of what are obviously serious emotional issues. But I think Hannah already knows she has to get help.

ew

I think it's the sickest thing to put videos or pictures of people who cut themselves on the internet.

I don't know your story, but I believe you feel shit and frustrated. Why shouldn't I believe that? But it is not an excuse for doing things like that.

Last night I was up until like 4am...now here it is 9:17am and I'm up again...I find that I'm fighting off sleep all the time...lights hurt my eyes...anyways...here's something from the depts of my insomniea ridden brain...

ew ew............
im sorry but no one will watch past the first 2 seconds